Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Getting Ready


I’ve never liked the word “blogger”. I don’t know why. Even from the beginning of me, well, blogging it never felt like it fit. We’ll get back to that in a bit.

It’s been almost a year exactly since I got my new job. I can’t even believe it’s been that long. I suppose its natural then that after the chaos of session gradually left my body I started absently, and even a bit subconsciously, cataloging the past twelve months. They have been dominated by feelings that have been difficult to process. I guess the hard part has been accepting that these feelings are natural given the events of the past year and not because of anything I’ve done wrong.

No matter how great a fit a new job might be there are still things to learn and mistakes to be made. No matter how long it took my leg to heal -4 months- there was still going to be a period once it healed of re-conditioning and recovery. I wasn’t going to bounce back to normal just because it didn’t hurt as much as it had. Unfortunately, when you’re in it….you don’t have that 20/20 perspective. They call it hindsight for a reason.

You see, it’s very easy for me to resort to beating myself up by internally yelling chides that begin with phrases like you should have known better , stop putting everyone else’s feelings before your own, and why can’t you have some self-control and just stop! But the truth is in stressful moments of self-doubt and confusion we all do the best we can to make it through. Let’s all pause, breath, and forgive ourselves for that. Done? Cool.

Now, let’s get to the part where we realize that things have changed and it’s time to pick ourselves up, move on, and make a conscious choice to be amazing and have a great life. Ready? Cool.

Me too.

First things first, I’m working on a new website. So, fingers crossed, things will look quite different around here very soon. Austen Hill will focus more on my photography business and a little less on blogging. Don’t fret, there will still be a blog, but I’m listening to that little voice in my head that’s saying it’s time for a change.

When I started this blog five years ago I didn’t have much that was mine. What I mean by that is that I wasn’t being given -or seeking out- opportunities to grow and thrive and be creative. I wasn’t as happy as I knew deep down I could be. There was a fire in my belly and I followed it by picking up a camera and typing out the thoughts running around in my head. 

I’ve written before about how much better I felt the first time I hit "publish". It was crazy. Over the years this blog has served as a place for me to grow as a photographer, to share my adventures, and, if I’m being totally honest, get over losing someone I loved. It has been such a gift and I will always look back on this time with so much fondness, but it has been just that, a pocket of time, and now I’m moving on to a new chapter. 

The blog portion of the site will focus on content that I’m passionate about as opposed to a three times a week schedule that has come to feel forced instead of fulfilling. You’ll still have a front row seat to all of my shenanigans and I’m counting on you guys to keep me honest. I love taking photos and writing and making time for the things that I love should be a priority. This past year I’ve all too quickly put my needs below everyone else’s and things like the blog have suffered because of that. 

Everything else will still get done. Everything will be alright. Please remind me of that in case I forget.

As always, thank you so much for your support and for sharing the past few years with me. I sincerely hope you'll stick around and hang with me for this next chapter. 

Love,

K

P.S. These are a couple pics I snapped the day Church Hill Music Co. played for the American Heart Association Ball. A huge thank you to the team at Jak's Salon for sorting me out and getting me ready for the show. It truly takes a village to pick out the perfect red lipstick:). 


 

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