Thursday, January 22, 2015

In Session



I'm suffering from what I like to call “Session Fever”. Here's some symptoms to be on the lookout for if you think you, or a loved-one, might also be suffering.
  • Excessive yawning
  • Dark circles and eye puffiness
  •  Excessive irritability 
  •  Increased forgetfulness
  • An inability to remember what day it is
  • If you ask them what time they can do lunch on Saturday (a day the legislature is not is session), they answer “maybe around 12, Commerce and Labor meets a ½ an hour after adjournment and my bill is up”
  • A new-found addiction to Diet Coke
  • Increased lung capacity from climbing numerous flights of stairs on a daily basis
  • A sudden tendency to empty the contents of one’s pockets upon entering a building because there are metal detectors in Target too right?
If your loved-one is suffering from 5 or more of these symptoms please pour them a drink as soon as possible. Here are some other things you can do, as I’m sad to report the only cure is the end of session.
  • Good old-fashioned “Tender Loving Care (TLC)”. We need our feet rubbed. We need a blanket wrapped around us. We need a hug.
  • Take us out! Don’t be offended, but we probably won’t ask you. Our brains are in a committee-induced fog and we don’t think about doing fun things. But God do we need to. Ask us out for a drink. Take us to dinner. Get us outside. We’re getting pale!!!!!!
  • Be patient. The pace, stress and overwhelming nature of session is something that is hard to understand unless you’ve experienced it. Don’t worry, it will be over soon. Hey....at least we're not boring:). 










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