Thursday, January 22, 2015

In Session

I'm suffering from what I like to call “Session Fever”. Here's some symptoms to be on the lookout for if you think you, or a loved-one, might also be suffering.
  • Excessive yawning
  • Dark circles and eye puffiness
  •  Excessive irritability 
  •  Increased forgetfulness
  • An inability to remember what day it is
  • If you ask them what time they can do lunch on Saturday (a day the legislature is not is session), they answer “maybe around 12, Commerce and Labor meets a ½ an hour after adjournment and my bill is up”
  • A new-found addiction to Diet Coke
  • Increased lung capacity from climbing numerous flights of stairs on a daily basis
  • A sudden tendency to empty the contents of one’s pockets upon entering a building because there are metal detectors in Target too right?
If your loved-one is suffering from 5 or more of these symptoms please pour them a drink as soon as possible. Here are some other things you can do, as I’m sad to report the only cure is the end of session.
  • Good old-fashioned “Tender Loving Care (TLC)”. We need our feet rubbed. We need a blanket wrapped around us. We need a hug.
  • Take us out! Don’t be offended, but we probably won’t ask you. Our brains are in a committee-induced fog and we don’t think about doing fun things. But God do we need to. Ask us out for a drink. Take us to dinner. Get us outside. We’re getting pale!!!!!!
  • Be patient. The pace, stress and overwhelming nature of session is something that is hard to understand unless you’ve experienced it. Don’t worry, it will be over soon. least we're not boring:). 

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