Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Best Laid Plans



I made this chalkboard last year during Staycation. You can check out my post about how I did it here. Originally gold, it was supposed to serve as the chalkboard menu I'd always wanted in my kitchen. As my guests arrived for dinner parties they would be greeted by this most french bistro-esque of accouterments and find themselves salivating over the delicacies that awaited them.

That lasted about a week. One day.....I was having a bad day and I needed to get something out. The person I needed to talk to wasn't there, my dog Miss Austen tended to tell me to stop being so blind and get on with my life (not something I wanted to hear at the time) and screaming off of my back porch seemed a little excessive. So I took the chalk in my hand and wrote a thought on the chalkboard. I immediately felt better. I don't do well keeping my emotions in and I'm also a visual learner, so in retrospect, my creative outburst seems almost destined.

For almost a year now I've been doing the same thing. Writing out a phrase or thought that made me feel better or was what I needed to tell myself even if it wasn't pleasant. I've kept track of all of them and the progression is really interesting. Sad, happy joyful, lonely, hopeful, angry, lonely, accepting........ok. I won't be sharing any of these thoughts on the blog because they're very private. Silly perhaps, because I do share so much of myself and my life here, but appropriate none the less.

You'll also notice the frame isn't gold anymore. This past spring I needed a change. I needed projects. I needed a distraction. So I proceeded to paint till I could paint no more and essentially redecorated my house. My sister came over during the summer and looked around at the changes quizzically. This is definitely different than your usual style. It was. When I moved in I was 29 and very much still a little girl. Today I am a 35 year old woman with many new adventures and experiences that have changed me.

What life keeps also showing me is that I will never have it all figured out. There will never be an end to the journey. Each new turn and bump in the road will mean I will have to figure out who I am now. That's not always an easy or pleasant process and I'm an American so I also want it to happen in like a second. It doesn't.

So why this post today? Well, funny enough I'm feeling better. I don't know what to write next on the board but I know it will come to me. And I'm very excited to see what color the frame is in another 5 years.


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